There are three main places that I receive personal revelation (not the spiritual kind, folks, I'm talking the revealing of personal ah-ha's that clarify things going through my head...although, come to think of it, these places have also been very spiritually clarifying places, too). These places are 1: Beneath the heated flow of my shower head, 2: On a good, long walk/run, and 3: During pillow talk late at night with my eternal cuddle companion.

The other night, as we lay in bed discussing our daily insight and adventures, we started talking about how GOSSIP means different things to different people. I've grown up with the understanding that gossiping was (as the picture above suggests) a way for little snippits of mean information about someone else to be spread to other people/groups who wouldn't otherwise learn the information. The key words for me always were MEAN and SPREADING---like nasty tar that makes you and everyone else feel icky around it. If the information is common knowledge and just NEWS (ie. "So and So is having a baby boy!" or "They are moving at the end of the month"), I haven't felt it was "gossip."

But as my hubb and I discussed it, we realized that some people were taught that any talk about anyone, good or bad, news or rumor, true or false, is considered gossip and shouldn't be messed with at all. The Wikipedia definition suggests that gossip is "idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It forms one of the oldest and most common means of sharing (unproven) facts and views, but also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information transmitted." Hmmm. Yes, true.

My hubb and I then discussed how most people talk about other people and what's going on with those around them within most every day conversation. It isn't necessarily degrading or spiteful, just making light conversation and comparing opinion and facts...at least in our case. As we lay there, our "revelation" came as we realized that not everyone was raised with this tar-in-hands picture in their mind when it came to gossip (what a strange concept), that not everyone could agree that light-hearted "news sharing" is harmless, and that the safest bet is to avoid being the initiators and contributors to any kind of negative or uncommon information about anyone we knew to anyone.

We laughed as we snuggled closer listing all the other things we could initiate conversations about...the weather, athletic techniques, types of clothing we like, spiritual insight, economical issues...all things that may start and end a conversation much quicker than talk about people we know...


  1. Jess . . . you for sure know this is an issue with me. So I will tell you what my belief is about Gossip. Gossip is - if you wouldn't say it with the person right there in front of you then don't say it. Sure give me information and enlighten me if only the person knows or doesn't care you are speaking of them. Make sense - so that is my view about gossip so there it goes! Thanks for always understanding me and talking me through my issues of gossiping!

  2. i agree with Camille. if it is something you would say to the person's face, it's not gossip. but if you would feel uncomfortable saying it to their face, or you think it may hurt their feelings, then it's gossip. sometimes even light hearted news sharing can be classified as gossip too i think. like, "did you hear jane put on 20 pounds? can you believe it? she doesn't look good. i'm worried about her." although that is news. and it's true, you wouldn't say that to her face. haha.

    i remember seeing that tar picture in young womens or something. i like the analogy. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    missing you guys